the art of waiting

Saturday, January 5, 2019


Disclaimer: This was posted on my previous blog but since it got deleted, I am reposting this entry again from 3 years ago.

Waiting isn't really my favorite thing to do. In fact, I hate having to wait. Over the years, though, I learned that it is really important to be patient especially when it comes to love. As cliche as it may sound, true love really waits.

High school, personally, was an awkward stage for me. When I was in high school, my classmates already have their boyfriends and I felt like I was kind of missing out. It made me curious about what it feels like to be in love. I have always imagined and daydreamed of being in love with a person. I always ask myself questions like...
Will it be easy?
Will it be worth it?
Will it be like in the movies?

In those times, I often find myself tired and impatient wondering when will I ever experience this magical-fascinating-tear jerking-beautiful thing called love? I was really curious and it made my young heart ache for it. Oftentimes I'd listen to my classmates tell kilig stories of their love life and I told myself someday I would be the one telling my friends my OWN story. I longed for that someday for a very long time.

For as long as I can remember, I have been a hopeless romantic with high expectations of love. I fed myself with chick flicks, sappy novels, k-dramas and endless happily-ever-afters. Yeah, yeah, I know, so corny, right? Because of this, I almost felt tempted to try my luck in dating. I mean having a boyfriend in your high school years felt like it was a huge deal. I badly wanted to be wanted. I wanted for someone to pick me; I wanted to know that I was good enough.

I am good enough Lord, right?

When I was in second year of high school, someone courted me. The group of people I was hanging around with already had boyfriends that time and I was a bit pressured to have one, too. My suitor was a junior that time and it was kind of 'cool' to have a boyfriend who's not in the same year level as yours. So, months passed we have always texted each other but it was super awkward when we see each other in school. I wasn't the kind of girl who would throw myself at a guy. I still believe that guys should always make the first move. And because I wanted to be sure that he's the right guy, I kind of rejected him which I felt bad but I told myself that I needed to wait for the right time.

Two years passed by and I realized I wasn't ready. No matter how I love imagining myself being in love, I was afraid I just loved the idea of love.  I felt like I was still immature and if I jumped into this dating thing, I'd mess up my priorities or worse even have my heart broken.

Before I entered college in the year 2012, there was this guy that I liked. It was a mutual feeling, actually. But even though I liked him, it wasn't enough. We were young and naive and it wasn't the right time for us. I told him to wait, that possibly maybe someday if he's the right guy, there'll be a right time for the both of us. When I entered college, I met different kinds of people. I still liked the same guy, and he's still there for me but I still waited and waited for the right time.

Now at 20, I'm still waiting for the right time.

Here are a few of the things I learned (and still learning) while I am in the process of waiting.

1. There is a season for everything
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.." Ecclesiastes 3:1
I always believed that there is a season for everything and we should wait for that right season to come before we jump into it. There's a time for studying and for jumping into a relationship. Sometimes when we're young and immature, we make choices that could alter our lives forever. We need to make sure that we make the right choices in life. Sabi nga ni Bishop Oriel, "kung maganda ka, maghihintay ka." That's a principle I applied to myself. Lol.

2. It's okay to have (high) standards
Having [high] standards doesn't mean you're too picky or that you think highly of yourself. It just means that you know your identity and you want the best for yourself. And also, by having a standard, I don't mean having superficial standards. Just pray to God that He will send you His chosen one.

3. While waiting, be the right person.
You should do your part, too. Of course, if we want someone who is right for us, we should also be right for them. Remember when I told you that there's a time for everything? Well, while you're in the time of waiting, you should get to know yourself more and use your time for self-development.

4. Guard your heart
Many times in your life, there will be lots of wrong people who will try to knock at the door of your heart. If you don't know your identity in Christ, you might let them in and hurt you. So you should always ALWAYS guard your heart because when it comes to emotions, we get really weak.

5. Pray for your future partner
And of course, lastly, you should pray for your future partner. Pray that you both have the same values and principles in life. Pray that your future relationship will be centered by God's unfailing love. It's just really sweet to know that someone's praying for you and it's way sweeter to know that someday, you will be able to hold the hand of your answered prayer.

2018 round-up

Monday, December 31, 2018


Weeeell, 2018 has been one heck of a year for sure. I've been so lazy when it comes to updating my website then and I missed it so much which is why I opened up this blog to continue writing. This year has been a rollercoaster, definitely. It's sort of nice to look back and reminisce the struggles and joys I've had and to realize that after all, I'm really grateful for them all. So, before this year ends lets go back and remember what happened this year.


January
So, January started really bad for our family. One of our dogs, Toby, died due to a car accident. It was indeed a bad start for 2018. It was also my second semester as a MAEd student, and I can still remember how stressed I was juggling my job as a teacher and my responsibilities as a student. I was soooo stressed, to be honest. January was also the month when I started planning for my goals for the year. One of which is to travel as much as I can. So, I asked my friends to hike Mt. Ulap which is something I haven't done before. I actually posted something about it on my website before but unfortunately, I tried importing my previous posts here but it didn't work. Also, my acne got worse during the first half of 2018, so there's that.


February
It was in February when we hiked Mt. Ulap. It was truly one of my 2018 highlights. To be honest, it was frightening and exhausting especially when you're about to go down. I can't remember how many times I slid and fell but it was definitely worth it!

Sometimes in my life, when I really get bored I tend to do things with my hair like CUT IT REALLY SHORT. I did. I was in the mood for a short hair so I did not hesitate to cut it. I don't really know what's gotten into me but I am really experimental when it comes to my hair. Haha! Of course, a new hair deserves a photoshoot! Lol. I asked my co-teacher to snap a few photos for me and that's the result. Actually, it's my most liked instagram photo to date.



March
March is probably a senior high student's favorite month because it signifies the end of the semester and the start of their most awaited summer vacation. Well, I'm not really complaining because I love the sound of an empty hallway. Lol. Before the semester ended, we took graduation photos of the students and for our faculty organization chart.

Other than that, I also had the time to finally cross "Breakfast at Tiffany's" off of my to-watch list. I definitely loved Audrey Hepburn here.. she is just a classic. I also loved her rendition of Moon River, which is now one of my favorite old songs.

Before March ended, we had our annual youth camp at Capas, Tarlac. I didn't have the opportunity to take personal photos since I was busy with organizing but it was an absolutely amazing experience. It's something I'm looking forward to next year!


April
I was given the opportunity to host the 1st Graduation Ceremony for the senior high school students of the school that I was working for. To be honest, it was really emotional because they were part of the first batch of senior high in the Philippines who graduated. At the same time, they were my first students. It made me proud to see them finally achieve their dreams one step at a time.

During the summer break, some of the youth leaders of my church and I went on a team building in Manila. We booked an Airbnb there for 2 days. One of the places we went to during the trip was the  National Museum of the Philippines. I already went there before during one of my field trips when I was in elementary but I'm glad I had visited again. We also went to different churches like Christ Commission Fellowship and Victory Church to attend the worship service and observe the practices they have that we can adopt.

May
Well, May was pretty much uneventful. Although during this time, I quit my old job and fortunately, got hired into another school. It was hard for me to decide whether to still pursue teaching or head on to another career path but I chose to still continue for at least another 2 years and I'll decide after my contract.


June
June was a crazy month. My acne was at its worst. I was losing hope on having a clear skin because I've tried so many stuff already and nothing worked. Classes already started during this time, so it was hard for me to not get self-conscious because I'm always in front of many people. Because of my self-consciousness, I tend to wear foundation almost every day during this month which is something I rarely do.

I also got a new pet! My aunt's Siamese cat gave birth so she gave me one of the kittens. My cat doesn't look Siamese because he's a mixed breed of domestic and siamese, I think? By the way, his name is T'Challa from the Black Panther. Lol.

Months before, Hillsong x Y&F announced that they will be having a concert here in the Philippines. I've always wanted to attend a Hillsong concert and just experience pure worship bliss. Last year, I went to Bethel's concert and it was just an out-of-this-world experience and got to see Amanda Cook sing live!! This year, my goal was to see Taya Smith live and I did. AHHHHHHHH. She's just one of my favorite worship leaders. The whole concert was just amazing. Amazing. AMAZING. I left the arena with my heart so fuuuull.


July
So, I told you that my acne got worse, right? In July, I found my acne savior. YESSS!! Like the one and only thing that worked for me after all these years. And my skin finally started clearing.. (but of course, it didn't clear up drastically within a month). My pimples are still there but it's just so much better than before.

Colleen Hoover released a new book which is "All Your Perfects" and the CoHo fan that I am, I bought the book immediately and finished reading it in 2 days!! The story was wonderful. She's wonderful. She's my go-to author, always have been.


August
It rained so much in August but it was fine because I love rainy days. I also noticed that my hair's getting longer now and my acne's clearing which is all good.

One of my students gave me a cup of latte as a thank you. I wasn't really expecting anything but I was grateful and it was really sweet of her. I don't really drink latte, this was probably the first time I ever drank latte in Starbucks? I knowwww, I only drink frappuccino in SB. Buuut, since then I started loving Green Tea Latte and started drinking it hot or iced. It's my favorite Starbucks beverage now. Lol


September
I was assigned to organize the first major event of our school so September was a stressful and exasperating month for me. But, in between life, I got to travel to Goshen Resort. It's one of Tarlac's (my hometown) tourist spots. I've always wanted to go there and even though I live in Tarlac, Goshen is really far from the city. We celebrated Julian's lolo's birthday there. The scenery is lovely with its Rome-inspired structure.


October
My hair's getting longer now and I can even style it like I used to back in 2017! Julian and I reached our 2-year relationship mark. Lol. We actually planned to visit Baguio but a typhoon hit the Philippines in September and left Baguio in a drastic state so we moved the trip in November.

The first semester ended so quickly and I got too attached to my advisory class but sadly, I had to let them go because we needed to switch classes in the second semester. I was also invited to attend the debut of my former student. Most of the time I host debuts but for this time, I am just a guest which was really fun for a change. Lol


November
As planned, we went to Baguio during the semestral break. Woke up at 4 am and traveled from 5am and arrived at 10am at Bencab Museum. We also went to Baguio Country Club to witness the Christmas Village there. It was my first time to experience ~snow~ (lol it wasn't really snow) which is something I've always wanted to experience. Hehe. My boyfriend already went to Korea last year so he knows the feeling of having a white Christmas.

On other news, I went to a dentist and she told me to get braces. I used to have braces back in 2010-2014 but I asked my dentist (then) to remove it because I got tired of having it. But now, I really regret that I did because my teeth aren't still completely aligned. Sooooo, I got my braces back. Hehe. And!! I also got my haircut which is my shortest this year. 

Something bad happened in November though. Our Persian cat, Smokey, went missing for a week. Usually, we let him wander because he was used to it and he comes back every night but this time, he didn't come back for a week. So my mom asked our neighbors if they saw him and they did but he was already dead. We lost another pet due to a vehicle accident. 


December
I turned 23 in December and it still feels kind of unbelievable that I'm already 23???? I feel like I'm still a 17-year-old kid. My boyfriend (Julian) gave me Luna, my baby Shih Tzu, as a gift for my birthday. Definitely the best birthday gift I've ever gotten. Luna already got two of her shots this month and she also had her first haircut. Very magastos. Huhu jk.

We also had a Christmas party with the Faculty before the vacation started. The administration was generous enough to give us so many stuff. I even got an electric kettle for the raffle draw. (BTW: I also got an electric kettle last year on the raffle draw lol).

On Christmas Eve, I made buffalo wings for the family which my lola loved. I'll be making it again today on New Year's Eve!!

And of course, I just recently opened my blog again this month. Hopefully, I get to post more frequently now..

So, that's the round-up of my 2018. So much has happened, so many things have changed and stayed the same. I pray that 2019 will be a fruitful year for all of us!

How about you, what are your 2018 highlights?



a new chapter

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Hello internet people,

As you may have noticed I went on a blogging hiatus because my domain expired last September. I wasn't able to renew it up until now because I have other financial responsibilities at the moment. And I realized that over the past few years, at first for me my domain was something that I felt like I wanted to invest on because I wanted to pursue brand collaborations and I did. I had plenty of time then, so it was easy for me to update frequently. But recently, because of my job and a few other responsibilities, it kept getting harder to update. I was running out of things to say, to be honest, because life isn't as exciting now as when I was in college. Sad, but true.

So, I decided to not renew my domain this year which is really hard for me since I've grown so attached to my domain. Instead of paying for it, I opted to go back to blogspot which is free. I just want to be more responsible when it comes to my expenses. I feel like it's the best time for me to test the waters first before jumping right in. I'm not saying I won't be having my own domain again ever, we don't really know... I just feel like this is a wise decision for me at the moment and we'll see how things will go.

Hopefully, this 2019 will be a year full of opportunities for me to bring back my blogging mojo back. I have so many things I want to do, and hopefully, I can share those with you on my next posts.

Thank you for sticking with me all this time.

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